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TODAY….today…TODAY…..

Today was my first day CAMBRIGDE exam… i reali feel veli nervouse on it.. hurm… i so nervouse… early early i wake up n keep on study n study….hurm… but.. my mind… cant remember any things.. n study… how come neh??hurm.. m i reali wil die in this exam?? i fel i going crazy… one month.. get ready for this exam.. n 2 weeks.. for keep on study.. hurm… but..i think.. whn i get to d university.. i shud change my study attitude.. coz… one month.. is not enough for study… reali….

TOday.. exam.. actually d quiestion.. i quite know… just know.. wat to do … but.. in reality…. i thinks.. i wrong many… hurm.. coz.. i oledi know.. i lose 2 marks oledi… how come… i reali sad??? y i so stupid a??? hur,… without gud result.. i reali cant get in university la.. i reali worried bout my future la…

Today.. i felt down from my staircase.. reali so pain la… hurm.. n whn i take my hp… reali no ppl find me again.. haih… d picture owes shown is money n alvin.. haha….luv them two… n the others too…. but.. in this exam… alvin n money reali put many effort in it… n they support me many too…….

whn i start to delete my hp sms…. i realise tht… last time.. he reali treat me veli.. gud… n so sweet… i realised tht d sms i stil keep until now.. hurm?? GOSH… wat i thinking ya??? hurm… n i realise until now. never a boy wil say it to me again.. hurm???y y y neh??

today reali a quite bad luck day to me…

i need to study hard lur… n try to get better exam…. kambate to me.. n kambate to all my frens.. for taking this exam

muaks

Tonite…..

When… i start to take my book.. i realise tht.. i reali.. worried n sad… i reali scare my exam… whn i count down my exam… i reali quite scare… n my hand… keep on shaking n shaking… yyyyy???

N finally i knew d theory… why sometimes.. somethings… is… don know.. too much is better for me…..

Just now.. finnaly.. i saw HIM… change his.. profile name.. n even.. check his frenster today…. finnaly.. i knew tht.. he know how to send comment to anyone…i send many comment to him.. since i KNEW hIM…. but.. he never.. send a comment to me too…..hurm… i realise tht.. he never.. take care my feeling… y i threat him so gud… he never… treat me gud geh?? y i wil be d one… who do like tht??? last time.. my frens..told me.. y i need to make myself sad.. n do so many things.. as a gal.. we shud knew.. how to get luv by ppl.. get d boys care… but.. i owes wil say.. if d boy i luv.. i wil threat him gud.. coz.. even he never wan to threat me gud… if i threat him gud.. care him.. luv him by true heart,, sure one day… he wil realise tht me is d one.. who reali threat him gud… n he wil threat me gud… coz.. i believe tht if we want ppl threat we gud.. sure we need to threat ppl gud 1st n i shud threat him gud.. coz.. he deserve for it.. if i luv him.. sure i need to make him happy rite… without thinking others.. or mind.. how much.. i offered to him rite????? But.. i feel.. tired.. on it?? y i owes threat him gud… but.. he never wil care my feelings??mayb jus a msg from him.. i wil feel warm… but.. y he never??? my heart reali get tired wif this??whn wil somebody know.. my heart… how wil someday… anyone.. wil understand… n realise wat i thinking??

i’m so suffer now la……

HELp.. me.. i dono.. wat shud i do ?? owes miss my direction!!!

EXAM IS COMING SOON…..

i study eveli morning til afternoon.. in schul… reali feel veli pressure… hurm… wat i shud do… i hope i can study at other place… but.. i reali worried my exam result… a level.. reali suffer.. but.. useful to me… eveli nite… i oso have bad dream on my exam… YISH.. wat shud i do?????

Hurm…. whn emma told me tht he gonna leaving….

whn i heard tht he gonna leaving tawau.. n going to sandakan.. i reali so sad… i reali cry… i dono why i wil act like tht… mayb he reali just look as a bro or best fren to me.. or??? to me… he reali cute… especially luv watching the his eyes… n d smile.. n his luv to his family… i great enjoying his gud attitude… owes.. thinks.. positvely… n thanksful…..he reali a gud boy!!! n sometimes.. feel proud… for knowing him n enjoying play basketball wif him…… hehe.. even his sis n bro too….

but lastly… whn i get his sms. n he told me.. tht he not going to leaving.. just a misunderstood….. my heart… stil sad.. haha… feel… losing a best fren … sad n sad….

haha…. but it’s ok… coz.. i think he is a strong boy.. even how bad situation.. he wil handle it well…

THREE MORE DAYS… i wil face my exam… my mind.. reali cant afford it.. eveli thigs came into my mind…… hurm… sometimes.. reali feel.. wanna.. someone.. who wil acc me….i hate alone go to d cinema.. alone.. eating ice cream… eating cakes…. hurm.. but.. wat i can do?? coz.. i never have chance to do so..Money told me… boys r realistic… in reality life… they wil onlie luv n chase gal.. whn d gal is reali pretty n havingnice body shape… n even.. d gal is pretty.. but d gal is fat… dboy wont will .. go chase???IS THT FAT GAL never find… true luv? or get someone… to luv??? i sometimes.. reali worried… hehe… wil i b.come LO GU PO… hehe… but. anyway.. i wil try my hard to keep fit… hehe.. ALVIN,MONEY,BAO BEIsssss….N MEI HAO..N ALL MY FRENS…sure u all wil support me rite??

hurmm .. i gonna study til late tonite… huhu.. y i cant study in my mind geh??? kambate… reali scare exam o…

AN IMPORTANT PERSON WAS BORN 19 YEARS AGO……………

hehe.. tht nite.n afternoon.. we spent  long long time to ready fr this surprise party…. hehe… spent a lots of..$$$ too.. haih. so cham,n whn we blowing d ballon… alvin’s balloon…BOM… huhu.. make me screamed so loud….. no money use liao lur…..but.. wh i saw mei hao.. was smiling.. this is…d value.. for we doing this.. we take d cake.. n knocked her door   n give her surprise… hehe…. HAPPY BURFDAY my dear….

THE PRESENT.. FROM us..mYSTERY… HEHEHE

hehe.. this nite…wil be d memory in my mind…i happy tht i got this group of CRAZY fren… muaks… reali…. after one more month.. all of us.. wil seperate ,I DON WAN AH… Yish… REALI miss tht moment.. we owes togther la….. muaks… MEI HAO.. happy birthday… luv u all..muaks…..

TODAY’S FEELING……

Early in d morning.. i woke up… reali feel tired o… coz i get bac home late lur.. celebrating bitrhday… hehe.. but morning… i reali feel moody.. remember someone…told me.. somethings..hurm… ireali need to think bout it…. hurm .. eary morning.. i reali mis my frens… miss my bao bei.. today i feel.. y i seems like got gap between my ao bei geh?? like they all so far from me…. i reali miss them all.. i hate lonely… whn i wil not be lonely leh???wat shud i do???i reali damn miss al of them.. especially ONE person…..2day.. i keep on repeating d song.. tht he sang to me on my birthday…. i just hope.. he can sing one more time for me…..

2 day.. reali many things bothering my mind…. i cant slip in properly… even now.. i stil feel tht my life is presure…. my exam.. wil come one… one weeks time.. i reali scare….NITE.. whn i saw my hp.. it reali never ring b4?? hurm… y??y?? y?? i start to scare for d NIGHT coming… i hate NIGHT… reali hate NIGHT……

心情小总站

鱼对水说:"你看不到我的眼泪,因为我在水里…"

水回答鱼说:"虽然我是看不见你的眼泪,但我能感到你的眼泪,因为你在我心里…..,我回一直的陪在你身边,感觉到你感觉不安到的东西,为你面对你要面对的问题,让你永远幸福…….永远的在心中,明白一切……..

I owes think tht… d fish is lucky.. coz she found some one.. who reali willing to acc her.. n know her.. well….i owes wait for d person .. who wil do d samethings on me…but.. y til now…i cant feel it.. or even … get someone??hurm… wil tht person wil come to my life?? wil i get d person??i don wan been hurt anymore.. i reali scare…. but… whn i wil get this??

HUH… frens.. miss u all

crm  AN early morning… d last day schuling…. money had made d cornflakes cookies to me n my fren eat…

hurm… MY FEELing is getting sad n sad today… too many icidents happen recently.. anythings just gave me chance to learn to forgive,learn to grow up, learn to become better n better…n give more memory about our schul life…. c last cornflake tht i reali can enjoy in class….

A view tht i often see n sit wif my fren…..

I miss tht day… eveli time whn we have our free period.. we wil owes together n sitting there for chit chat n enjoying our days.. but now… whn i looking at this tress.. it brings different.. feel to me….

A day n last view of sitting in front of my class n seat….

today feel reali sad… sitting in front of my fren… d bac of hen ting tht i can view from class…. d things tht in front of my table… d air conditioner which owes.. having many problem… hurm… dono y.. it seems.. reali owes happen things in my class… got happy n sad… but.. it reali an only memory for all of us…a pic.. just record d moment.. but.. our mid.. record.. all wat we have in n past…

D last day n last moment we study together… teacher.. let us eat d ice cream.. muaks.. thanks teacher… dono how to describe d feel… but i reali luv d feel, even BABY some times.. looks unfrenly,but.. she reali a quite gud teacher….. i miss tht moment…

dono wat he trying to do.. n thinking tht time… tht time.. sure he reali worried bout his hair style.. hahaha… i think sure.. he thinking of his SHARON again.. hehe…

yesterday was d 1st time i watch movie wif.. him.. even he sit far from me… but.. i feel happy n warm…looking d action .. was… veli funny.. hahahaha… this movie.. was d most meaningful movie to me.. especially wat d movie say… even wat things happen.. we stil have d chance.. to choose… i think it reali useful in our.. life too.. even how bad d situation.. we stil have d other way to choose…..

d moment… i went out…i thought it wil be a boring day for. me.. but.. i went to many places..many funy things happen… me n negn went fot fech ching yi… we owes… go wrong on d position… hehe… n i look ugly tht nite la… whn i went in FIRE.. hehe.. d Bola.. was so sexy.. n kep on standing in front of me.. wah… she reali kind a sexy gal ah….but.. i cant enjoy there… wearing d old clothe.. n ugly…. n d 2nd day need to.. work again… cham o…

hurm… today.. 12-05-2007…. i woke up early….i went to help for.. special olympic.. eveli year.. i helped.. n eveli time.. reali so tiring n eveli year i felt touching… especially for d word n sings come out by d children.. they say… I WAN WIN,JUST LET US TRY,AT LEAST WE TRY B4… eveli year d same things i hear.. but.. eveli year.. i can feel.. i wan cry.. it reali touching… even just a kid tht who reali have their.. mental problem.. but they stil brace to face all d problem tht they have… but as an ordinary human.. we owes fail to do so.. y?? i think.. it reali a bad things n habit for us… we shud.. act as wat they think…..

whn i sitting n waiting d result.. many things.. come to me… i realise tht… eveli things.. shud have d gud n bad…. just like black n white.. we owes have two view on our life… mayb.. my ru luv wont come now… mayb .. me is d one..who wil enjoy my single life.. mayb i look ugly.. but… mayb one day i wil meet some one…who wil truely luv me??or mayb i wont get some one to luv me anymore… a pair of legs… need each other… whn there is one.. of them losing.. sure it wont be able to walk faster………. i hope.. i can get d other soon.. coz.. hate lonely…..

2day reali tiring… met many leng zai here… hehe.. early morning.. i woke up early.. today.. it is rainy day.. n i feel tht i sick now.. my head so pain.. but.. y i stil want 2 think those bad bad things geh?? my leg n hand were too tired to move…. n now.. i jus finish my tuition.. 2dy.. it is mom de mother’s day… but… i reali din get ready for my mom’s day..but i promise myself.. tht whn i start to earn more money, sure i wil try to give all d best to my mom.. happy mother’s day.. muaks.. i luv u mom… even evelitime…i made u angry.. but u stil owes forgive me.. reali thanks.. mom… today,even i quite moody at 1st.. but now.. feel better… mayb coz.. i’m too miss someone…just now.. chat wif my cute cute trini… she reali cute as her bro… hhehe… n quite funny whn she trying to talk wif me.. her bro.. is trying to KILL her.. hahaha.. n i promise,sure one day.. me n zach wilbring her to watch movie… even zach not goin… but.. sure i wl bring her go… hehe… coz.. she is CUTE.. mauks… luv her so much… n miss her gudnite kiss to me…hehehe

2molo goin to no study.. but.. i stil going to scul.. wif fren to study… hurm… now tired.. n feel.. headache……hurm… whn i wil be ok.. n getting d same feel bout.. last time..whn i sick….???????????

a day… my frenship recover wif my best fren…a day tht i done d most horrible things in my life..a day tht gave me lots of memory….

dono how to express my feel….

i so sad whn i saw u keep on crying n sad for few days.. even me too.. i cant even sleep or even laught.. whn i see u from ur bac,i realise tht u thin oledi… but.. not tht onli.. i realise tht ur heart reali wont be recover.. but same as me too.. even how bad u do on me.. y i stil owes stand on urside…help u to solve all of this?? i reali damn hate myself,even i hurted by ur attitude.. y i stil ….wil owes b.side u.. until u change…

even how sad u r. n how far. .. i wil ..owes.. hear ut tear form ur heart….whn we decide to do any decision… we wil need to pay responsible on wat we had made…

a word.. to her…

thanks for being wif me.. whn i confused for my feeling this few days…. miss u.. n thanks for.. caring me this few days… unforgetable.. wat we had done today…

a guy.. tht reali bring many meaningful memory for me.. thanks.. for d moment whn i upset.. u had sent a sms tht reali touch deeply my feels… i reali wanna say thanks.. even.. tht just.. a sms tht.. bring .. nothing meaning from u….anyway.. thanks.. for..u

a word.. to her.. joyce. reali thanks.. for ur comforting this few day… thanks for ur supporting n thanks for ur luv. muaks…. i feel happy coz.. at last the fren tht beside me..forever important to me.. muaks…

thanks.. guys…roland,samami,alvin…. our frenship wont light up without u all… mis ya…we wont be able to meet al d same times.. whn future come… hope.. we wil be able to keep uo n appreciate what we have now…..

a words.. to d frenship… no longer.. all of us wil.. having our test.. for this moment.. we passed many things between us.. we have our best memory inside… n havig our sweetest things

                         however… we wil be leaving each other…

one more month… some of us wil be going for further study… some of us wil be.. work.. some wil leaving tawau… muaks.. appreciate wat we have now.. miss u all n luv all..coz.. fren share anythings.. even our feel n secret….

                        miss u all.. we have been long time.. din contact each other or meet for long time… feel wanna hug u all n gonna kiss long long time wif u all… i promise tht i wil be meet u all.. n we wil gather for one nit crazy party whn we meet up one day.. n d day.. i finish my exam.. muaks.. thanks.. for standing  by my side always…..

Today is d feel tht i feeling COMPLEX.. can call it a day of CHAP PA LANG..i realise tht today eveli things.. seem going badly on me… today my mind sladh too many things on me… i even feel myself is a failure.. even somethings i hard to forget… i can say tht.. my heart reali broke.. since i knew d truth, even bout fren,a boy, a last time… all reali just seem like a scar in my heart,4eva n 4eva.. just like d floor, never wil be recover any…… whn i saw d stair case.. my mind flash many things,even tht i walk this stair over d years,but today whn i walked it, i felt tht i hardly to walk by it?yyy?a stair tht reali meaningful to me,i contain my luv between frens, memory between my frens,memory between me n him.. QUARELING wif my frens,we drop our tears,how we enjoying our tutorial in our schul,the first time i met u coz.. of ur(panty)hahah….but.. i just left few more days, i wil be leaving here any…….

i dono y today.. evelithings come out to me….even my birthday memory.. i din post on my blog… but. i reali appreciate wat mybest frens have done on my bitrthday party… my life… get two surprised party on d same year ,same time… muaks.. i reali thanks god for giving me a lots of fren for me… i drop my tears for u.. not onli for one more times….but. i wil save u all in my memory…….. wont be FORMAT forever… muaks… thanks,a reali meaningful 20 to me…. muaks.. n d cake i forever to kept in my mind….by d way.. i oso met a group of fren..thanks.. for those cutie guys for making my cake.. n telling me so many things..n share u all de secret wif me…

I reali dono wat happen on me today…today my mood reali damn bad…even.. sometimes.. my family wont able to give me wat i want.. but.. wat i need.. they wil owes give me.. tht is luv.. even sometimes.. me is d one.. who owes get scolded.. but i know tht.. d ppl tht wil forever luv me in this world ,will be them….even sometimes.. i feel unfair… for.. their luv.. but.. i stil wan to say i luv u all.. bro,mom, n dad….bro.. i know.. he owes.. keep on cool on me.. but i know.. he must be luv me.. i promise myself..even how.. i sure wil luv my bro.. n take care my bro forver.. mauks.. thanks god for giving me ,it is faith to b.come sister n brother…

A FOREVER IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY MIND

Mama…my aunty ANN… i miss u so much… even u leave me so far… a hand tht i never wil touch again…d voice tht i never wil hear again… but.. u stil owes in my heart.. even now.. i stil cry for u… u never leave from my heart… i cant ever touch ur hand anymore…i reali miss u.. aunty ann…. yesterday nite. i cry n cry n cry…. ur smiel, ur cooking… i reali wan to see u… y u never meet me up.. since u away??i owes waiting to meet u … but y??i just met u d last nite.. was d nite u told me tht this was d lunch dinner tht u can cook for me to eat…. i stil remember d hug whn we at hospital.. u ask me to take care ur family.. i reali try hard.. i luv them.. but.. i luv u more… yesterday nite… aunty ann… i reali cry for u again.. i reali miss u…i reali feel damn lonely.. aunty ann.. if u stil here… sure u wil help me to solve any problem tht i met… sure u wil be always.. stand by me…eveli times.. i do anythings n think any things.. i stil remember wat u had tell me… but now.. i reali dono wat shud i o.. i can say.. i lose my direction.. i dono wat i thinking.. i owes think badly.. i owes think i’m alone..i owes think.. i not pretty..i owes think.. tht y i wil be d one.. be alone… m i reali so bad n ugly until…where i can find my true luv?y i owes wil be d one who hurted by ppl?i know.. u wil tell me.. u is d most pretty child in my heart… i know.. u was another mother for me.. i know…i know.. u wil help me…sometimes.. even i sad,i know u wil bebless me in heaven…i know..whn i was in pkn.. u came to see me,even i cant see u or touch u,but i know.. u were there…tht nite i cry in pkn.. i reali miss u .. coz.. i get know.. u was beside me…aunty ann… i reali miss u n luv u….u have been.. leaving me for..2 yeas… i reali miss u n luv u…i wil take care myself.. coz.. i know. i shud be one. who to suit d situation.. but..not situation to suit me…I LOVE U….

Tonite.. i reali feel.. dono.. i shud happy or cry….tears drops.. even i just thinking of evelithings…wat shud i do?i losing my direction… i reali scare to be alone… scare to los anyone of my life… scare to loss evelithings in my life… i reali feel envy bout others….i know… my true luv wil coming.. i know. .. i have…a group of frens… i know. .. i am a lucky gal…but.. jus my heart.. reali damn moody…. i even.. cant control myself.. just feel.. evelithings.. come to my heart… keep on bothering me… i try veli hard…… to change all myself.. b.come a gud fren, a gud gal… but.. y i owes wil……i stil remember my k bro say.. jus be bac urself.. if one day a boy is luv me… he wil don mind how bad m i, how ugly m i , how fat m i… but.. is tht wil a man in this world think like tht, in realistic world… all boy sure wil look d appearance of d gal first…no mather.. how d gal look like?m i?

eveli nite.. watching on my hp… i realise tht.. i wont be able to hear any voice.. or even my hp start to ring…. mayb i oledi..comfort myself.. for.. talking phone wif somebody,hearing gudnite from somebody,getting sms from somebody…….but.. now.. it reali silence for long long time oledi……

but.. writting blog… reali a damn gud way.. to express my feeling…. reali thanks…..i know.. if i treat n see something by true heart,sure one day i wil be ok… n sure someday.. someone.. will appreciate wat  i have done… but wil tht day come???

WHO CAN TELL ME????……..